OT: Ask Mack..... Part II - Freaky Friday!!!!!!

When it comes to us men, only a gay man will want to come into your "house," regardless of how nice you think that you have it decorated, and totally want you to change **** around or give you pointers on how things could look better. 

If that ninja is sooo concerned with a sag here or a scar there then Sum Ting Wong.  Most straight men, like myself, are way too hornee to be concerned with blemishes of any kind. 

MM is right.  Ain't no brotha laying up in bed with you sistas stressing over a few perceived imperfections.  Trust me.  He's in it for the hot bucket-nekkid action, the hot and steamy sweaty-sweaty, Oh Lawd Have Mercy.  Period.

^ mofin 5!!!! my ninja....... LOL!!!!

Whew - I can't even BEGIN to tell you how LESS of **** I could give about some of that bullshyt once I KNOW I'm bout to 'get it'......

hair outta place? don't care
toenail polish/fingernails don't match? whatever
bra and draws different colors?  umm, couldn't give a shyt - but why are they still ON?
mushy tummy? actually that's great! I need a lil cushion while I'm on top workin.....
saggy boobies?  GREAT! less time on the 'up' voyage while I'm doing the 'round the world special'.......

hair outta place? don't care
toenail polish/fingernails don't match? whatever
bra and draws different colors?  umm, couldn't give a shyt - but why are they still ON?
mushy tummy? actually that's great! I need a lil cushion while I'm on top workin.....
saggy boobies?  GREAT! less time on the 'up' voyage while I'm doing the 'round the world special'.......

                                                      Dayum!  Now I'm hornee. 
                                                     See what you did.


                                                                     


                                                    Heading home to watch some p*rn on-line.   
                                                                                                                      ...again.

Gurrllll!!!!! See!!!!! I will take a freakin' month matching my bra to my panty color EXACTLY! ...and don't let my toes out for even a peak without being polished to perfection.  I'm serious y'all. I am a freak when it comes to this.  I am on it all the time!!!

SUM TING WONG!!!  !!!  You are so crazy!  Thank you Ayy. See...I think so much like a woman. I'm worried about every little bump, scar, dark spot, light spot. You should see me!! I'm in Mirror with a magnifying glass!!! It's not vanity..I promise. It's...paranoia. I just want to be at my personal best and come to the table ready to give that to someone I care about.

Okay..confession time...men have ALWAYS taken inventory of every detail of me. What I'm wearing, how my hair is, how I walk, talk..you name it.  It's like being on an non-stop modeling interview!  They are checking me out head to toe, but..of course I wasn't naked at the time.   But that mess is irritating!! My ex-husband still does it!!!! But..I hear ya. Straight men are just caught up in the rapture!!  Got it.

"I think so much like a woman. I'm worried about every little bump, scar, dark spot, light spot. You should see me!! I'm in Mirror with a magnifying glass!!! It's not vanity..I promise. It's...paranoia. I just want to be at my personal best and come to the table ready to give that to someone I care about."
 
Yep that definitely sounds like Women Thinking 101 to me.  Let's face it, if we men actually worried about half the stuff that you ladies would expect us to be concerned about regarding ourselves certain ethnic groups would start adding a bathing routine to their bathing routine, breath mints would become the hottest stock on the NASDAQ, and nightclubs filled with sweaty guys wearing open shirts exposing all that imitation taco meat-looking chest hair would close down worldwide.   

  omg - you STOOPIDDDDDDD

I would have to second that - heck - *I* don't go to that length......

  dont' tell nobody, but I have been known to skip the re-shaving of the armpits and still go sleevless - I just never raise my arms above parallel shoulder level..........

now - don't go TRIPPIN and thinking I got Florida Evans in a headlock or nothin...... I'm talkin 5 0'clock shadowness....not full grown jungle.... LOL!!!

now, for the 'south pole' region.... umm.... alls I'mma say is since I let my 4yr ex go - I spend a LOT more time landscaping.... cause after 4 years of together but over 10 knowing each other - there was many a night I was like 'if he want it that bad, he can hunt around a lil bit' 

I'm a landscaping artist myself Mack. When I go get a wax...it's not just my eyebrows!!

Look woman - if you ain't inviting me to dinner, stop letting me HEAR the steak sizzlin!!!!!

LMAOOOOO - you're such a dayum TEASE!!!!!  now you got things floating around in my head - like what a Brazilian could REALLY become on that azz of yours.......

Sorry boo. Not trying to tease!!